I am now 8 months pregnant. It's hard to believe that in about 2 months, I will be meeting our son for the first time. I imagine myself, looking into his (probably) dark brown eyes, and kissing his brown skin. I am trying not to imagine what it will be like to deliver this baby alone, without his dad...which could be a real possibility. As for now, I am just trying to have as normal existence as I can as a (seemingly) single pregnant woman, with two other children to care for. I have to wonder sometimes, though, what was on this baby's mind, as he entered my womb 8 months ago? Did he know that he would be developing inside a woman who would face alot of emotional aches and hurts? Did he know that his parents would struggle just to get through every day with their broken hearts? Did he know if his dad would be present as he made his entrance into this world? Did he know that his mom would suffer through sleepless nights, wondering about tomorrow? I have to believe that he did know all that, and despite the challenges he knew he would be a part of, he decided to become a part of our world, his dad's, mine, and my kids'. Because of his insistence on being here with us, I have hope that he knows something good is coming our way. The here and now is just a small part of what is to come. When loneliness, fatigue, and physical and emotional aches set in, I remember the determination of a small soul that is waiting to be here, waiting to start a human life on this earth, having chosen my husband and I as parents.
In the meantime, there is so much to do! My two other children who live with me, a moody 13 year old boy, and an enthusiastic, exuberant 10 year old girl need me to be present for them, in mind and body, and I must be strong with them in mind. I am also preparing for the arrival of my husband, in making some home renovations. This has been a great way to keep a positive outlook about his timely arrival. I also have a 20 year old, who will hopefully start college this fall, and with this, comes many financial responsibilities as well. I hope and pray that I can be everything to everyone who needs me.
Still forging ahead...
Pictures by: http://www.gingersnapsyou.ca/
3 comments:
hmmm, such lovely images! ;) Beautifully written, you have a gift for storytelling. positive thoughts headed your way!
Rose, thank you for your comment on my blog...I recognize the link between us as Gingersnaps from Flickr. :) Praying all goes well with your delivery. God is with you and he loves you!
Tracey
Thank you so much Tracy! I appreciate it. :)
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